PAULOC I want to feel free
by anyx.j
Summary: When Beatrice's father dies in a fire, her mother and herself decide that they cant live there after all that has happened. Will travelling across the state teach her mum to love her like she wasn't the cause of his death? Or will Bea crumble after fighting for so long, who can save her and make her feel free? PAUL/OC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 **First Chapter into Bea's life**

 **From your greatest British Friend, Anya**

BPOV

Just a couple more hours Bea' I groaned at this thought, a couple more hours being stuck on this plane. Sorry, chicken pen! How can anyone feel free whilst flying? How can anyone feel free _at all_? I pushed the thought aside, there was no point getting myself worked up again. I huffed for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour, my mum sensed my anxiety.

'Bea just breathe honey, another 3 hours is nothing, you've been on here for nine already.'

"Thanks for the reminder mum" she gave me a sympathetic look before her eyes went wide with a thought.

'Would you like a drink? Or a snack? Oh god! You must be starving and you must stop skipping breakfast it isn't good for you-"

I jumped up out of my seat and made my way to the planes only toilet, I couldn't listen to her attempts to comfort me, they only made me feel worse about how I wasn't normal, how I could feel safe and free if I wasn't consumed with nervousness. Anxiety doesn't affect me as much as other people's stories I've heard but it's still there within me, lingering. Id perfected the art of calming myself before a panic attack, well when I say calming I meaning running out of wherever the heck I was before anyone could notice but it still worked. No matter how much my mother tried to help me overcome this monster, she couldn't and after the fire it only got worse, not that she noticed. I grabbed onto the door handle for stability as the plane shook slightly, like when the floorboards shook back at home, when there was such thing as home.

My father was candle obsessed, weird right? Usually it's quite a feminine thing but he didn't care, he said 'express yourself darling, in whatever shape or form. You will meet people who express themselves so much different to you and you have to learn to accept Beatrice' I cringed, not only at the thought of my full name but the memories of my loving, erratic harebrained father...Who saved me. And his obsession of candles that killed him.

I counted my breathes and felt my heartbeat slow, as I made my way back to my seat, my mother gave me a warm smile which followed shortly by my forced one. I must have drifted off to sleep again as I heard agonizing screams fill my head and the comforting warmth from my blanket was soon turned into a scorching oblivion.

'Please Mick don't go! Leave it, just leave _her_!' my mother's words echoed in my head

'Cassie, let me go, you don't mean it.'

I heard loud thuds coming up the steps as my screams were drowned out by the developing fire, the floor boards shook and I screamed even louder for help as I took one last look at my bedroom filled with memories and pictures. I knew the floor would give way any moment and I hadn't come to accept that it was my time to go. It _can't_ be my time, not yet.

My vision was blurry but I forced my brain to focus on the figure stumbling forwards. _Dad._ He forced the door open with such ease. But I had tried and tried to pry it open? I had pulled and pushed, kicked and punched but I wouldn't budge. How did he open it? He grabbed my face and said ' accept everyone Beatrice even those who you aren't normal'

And that's when he, growled? I still hadn't figured that bit out yet maybe a fragment of my imagination but my attention was turned to the crumbling floor as I was thrown out the first story window and Darkness overcame me.

My eyes flew open and I found myself still sitting on this damn plane. I turned my head and stared at my mother. The screaming, telling Mick (my dad) not go get me? Was my mother. I don't know what was going through her head at the time and I don't think she did either until a year after.

When my father died she refused to speak, leave the house, shop for groceries, cook, anything. So that's what I did for my 16th year as I child. Care for my mum and hide the constant anxiety and panic attacks the death of my father brought me.

My mother got counselling and after a few months returned to her normal widowed self. Heartless, that's how I see it, you tell your husband to leave your only child to die in a fire, basically leave her to fend for herself for a year and then get over it after three months of help. But as much as I try to hate her, I can't. Sure, now she cares for me and attempts to help me when I struggle in life but I refuse to accept it, the new her, I can't. The betrayal she had shown taught me never to trust anyone, ever.

So that's why I am currently on a plane to La Push Reservation, to ' escape this town, escape this hell' as my mother put it. But the hell created was inside my head, it just happened to play hide and seek a lot of the time, except, you didn't need to come and find it, it would become present when it wanted to. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, the 'hell', was living with my mother to be exact and she _did_ let me come and go as I please.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

 **Please leave reviews to help me develop and carry on my story. 3 reviews on this chapter for me to publish the next one as its all ready written and ready to go :)**

 **T** **he Newest Daughte** **r: I know, what kind of mother would do that? but she may have her justifiable reasons later on in the story.**

 **From your Greatest British Friend, Anya**

BPOV

We finally touched down in Seattle and continued the drive to La push. Obviously, my other let me drive the _whole_ five hours without even offering to take over. I eventually thought it was time to get gas and some water and I pulled into a service station. I turned to look in the back and I found my mother sprawled out across the three back seats, ashy blonde hair a mess, and drool dripping from her mouth. I rolled my eyes and stretched my stiff joints; we were in a town called, Forks? We were only around 30minutes away but I really couldn't wait to use the restroom. I ran inside after I filled the tank and took in what looked to be a...dead rat? Oh, no, just me looking in the mirror. I had unfortunately inherited _all_ my mother's features except my hair, that was all mine. Pale skin, not too pale but pale enough; coppery brown hair that reached mid-way down my back in soft curls and very, very, very dull grey/blue eyes. They lost their spark when my father died and nothing, could bring that back. I looked nothing like my father, no Native American features at all, which wasn't going to be a good thing as a senior at La Push High School. I was really petite and that annoyed me to the greatest extent but hey ho nothing I can do, except I didn't actually eat that much at all. Something I would have to keep an eye on. My father used to be an amazing cook, he cooked all the time. When my other got home from work and myself from school and would place his master piece before us at the table.

Because of this, I tend to avoid making a big deal out of meal times and sometimes I just forget to eat at all. No, I haven't got an eating disorder and I really don't actually need to eat that much to sustain my 5'2 body. My small curves compliment me and I actually have boobs. Not a lot but a solid 30 C was well enough for my little frame. I took one last look at my appearance and straightened out my black V-neck 'All American Rejects' t-shirt before brushing of my grey ripped jeans of all the biscuit crumbs that had accumulated during the car journey.

I unlocked the restroom door and made my way to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerated section. I could hear a loud group of boys messing around in the next aisle. I tried to hide a giggle as I listened in to their conversation, nosey I know, but what can I say I had practically been on my own for a couple of... years?

'Seth you should totally ask her out man!' a voice boomed

'Jake dude no! She's a complete stranger and she's not _the one._ ' I made a confused face, how does he know this girl isn't _the one?_ None of my business anyway but I carried on listening.

'Seth come on she has and All American rejects shirt on, you love them!' I stiffened and doubled checked my shirt. Great. They weren't talking about me, right?

I warm soothing voice spoke of but he sounded irritated. ' Just ask he her out and be friends with benefits'

'Paul!' they said in unison, there was silence

'Actually Seth, Paul has point, she is a definite 10/10' another grumbled

'I'm with Embry on this one' a voice I thought was maybe. Jakes? Wait why do I care? I just felt like I had to get to know them. I huffed, this being alone and avoiding interacting with people is not working out for me.

I decided to stop eavesdropping and continue searching for this stupid cooled water. I finally found it and just to my luck there was one bottle left. I smirked and went to put the water in my basket when a huge hand swooped in and grabbed it just before me.

I looked up, pissed. I just wanted to get back on the road and to this damn La Push place. My train of thoughts and curses were put to halt when I looked up. Literally. I had to crane my neck to see his face, I stepped back so I only had to tilt my head a little to take in his appearance. This guy was huge, at 6'1 and very muscley, I would have guessed him to be around 25, until I saw his face. His features were young and soft without the littlest worry, maybe 15,16? Impossible.

'Excuse me but I really need that water and as I you probably saw I was reaching for it' I put my hands on hip to seem more demanding but the height difference was just crushing my dominance.

'uhhh, I- umm.' Even with these words, sorry, syllables that came from his mouth I recognised him as one of the boys I was eavesdropping on earlier. Shit.

'Sorry, you can have the water. I 'm Seth, I just wanted to know if I could have your number?' Shit shit shit, I thought. I was struggling I come up with a polite decline. His appearance of 25 was way too old, and his 15 year old face way too young. I was about to reply when I notice his hand began to shake.

'ummm, why are you shaking like that?' I questioned. The second the words left my mouth three guys even bigger than Seth came rushing around the corner dragging Seth away.

'Stop it Jake! I'm fine' he looked at them deadpan in the eyes. ' I was just nervous' he mumbled, embarrassed.

During all the chaos I had managed to retreat a few steps carefully, finally stumbling over someone's abandoned basket, I felt myself plummeting towards the ground before feeling a pair of warm hand wrapped around my waist. I stiffened not sure how to react. Once I was safely on my feet again I turned around to thank this stranger but I was lost in his eyes. They were the most calming vibrant grey I had ever seen. Not dull and boring like mine, they were gorgeous- he was gorgeous. Definitely the biggest out of all of them, though not the tallest, he stood at around 6'5, hand still around my waist, still staring. I shrugged out of his grip thanked him quickly and turned back around to Seth, cheeks flooding with red after the trip that they witnessed all of.

'Sorry Seth, you were saying?' I smiled friendly.

He chuckled noticing the vibrant colour most likely becoming more prominent in my cheeks. I could still feel the comforting heat of the man behind me and I just wanted to turn around and hug him in a warm embrace. Oh my gosh stop it Bea what is wrong with you!

' As I was saying before my friends interrupted, could I possibly give you my number?'

A low growl? Came from behind me, I forced myself not to turn around and look at the bronzed god only a metre away.

'Sorry Seth, I don't live round here I was just passing through' his face was slightly disappointed but at that moment he seemed so young and vulnerable. I don't know what came over me but I felt the need to comfort him like a younger brother, I gave him a hug and a warm smile before asking for the bottle of water still gripped firmly in his hands. He seemed shocked from the hug and was staring worriedly behind me.

'You didn't Paul! Really!' I was 100% confused, so I just gestured for the water again. 'Oh yeah, sorry. Why do you need this water so much?'

It seemed silly really, I don't know why I wanted it so I just made up an excuse.

'Got the worst headache ever, been driving for at least 5 hours.' I laughed awkwardly. It was half true; I mean they wouldn't know if I actually had a headache and I was so possessive over that water, yeah I know I question my own sanity too.

Suddenly, Paul? Paul was in front of me looking frantic.

'How bad does it hurt? Do you need some pain killers? Oh god-' his whole frame began to shake and I tensed becoming fearful of this godlike human. 'You shouldn't be driving for so long, who let you do that!'

Jake, Seth and the other man, Embry? Were dragging Paul out of the shop, I wanted to comfort him but something told me to just pay for my water and leave. Now.

'Jake get the fuck off me! I need to see if she's okay!' Paul shouted

'Paul calm down now, you're scaring her! You're being reckless you could hurt her!' hurt me? What the fuck? I was definitely leaving. I ran back to the car, mum still asleep and carried on the journey to LA Push but there was just something in my brain-no, my soul telling me to turn back. So, I pushed harder on the accelerator putting more distance between me and... Paul.

I pulled up to cute, dainty looking cottage. Our new home, all of our furniture had been sent over and moved in a few days ago so there was really nothing to unpack but clothes. I was exhausted , I felt drained ,physically and all I could think about was Paul and if he was okay. I could feel the anxiety doing tricks in my stomach just daring to make an appearance. I figured it would be best to sleep it off considering I would have to wake up early for school, urgh, I hate Mondays, and school but that has got to be a universal thing right? My mum came sleepily down the stairs having just woken up from a nap after asking me to put away everything even though she had slept in the car the whole way here.

'Honey, have you eaten?' she questioned

'Mum what food exactly would you like me to consume?' my patience was really running thin

'Okay sweetheart here's some money and the directions to the grocery store, don't be too long and get me a salad.' You have got to be kidding me! I looked at her, straight in the eyes. I saw no remorse, no guilt, and no change heart for the words she said on the day of the fire. It seems dramatic, all these thought over who goes grocery shopping. But its times like these, I see how she feels. I'm not her daughter, someone she cares for and loves. I'm a burden.

I grabbed the money and directions as I stormed out the house tears streaming from my face. This is how it feels when no one loves you and you're just an empty shell looking after someone because you just can't seem to let them go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note**

 **Thank you for the reviews guys! It really helps me decide how to develop the characters and what plot to continue writing as i have a few planned just in case.**

 **I'm not sure how regularly I will be posting probably around three times a week but it depends, leave reviews and ill know people are reading and enjoying or I may just stop if no one is reading lol ;) anyway enough rambling...**

 **JellyLove01- Thank you, I'm trying to keep things as realistic and real as possible so I'm glad its paying off, i also dislike her mother as I'm sure others do as well, but she has her reasons, whether they're a justified enough for you, you will find out later.**

 **From your Greatest British Friend, Anya**

Paul's Point Of View

Urgh. Pack life at its finest. Sam forced me and Jake to take Seth and Embry away. Away where? I have no fucking clue, he just said me and Emily need some 'alone time' without us lot in the house. 'Alone time'? Really Sam?

'Paul stop thinking about it, it's weird' Jake commented on my thoughts. It's funny even when we're not in wolf form they always know what I'm thinking. It just makes me so angry. And being angry makes even more mad. I'm fed up of being angry, not being 'happy-go-lucky' Seth, not enjoying life and feeling free.

I only realized I had zoned out on my depressing thoughts again when I here Jake literally boom down the aisle. 'Seth, you should totally ask her out man!' Some new chick they were gawking at had definitely caught everyone's eye and it was Seth's turn to ask for a girls number. I sighed.

'Jake dude no! She's a complete stranger and she's not _the one._ ' Haha 'the one' like that's ever going to happen that shits rare!

'Seth come on she has and All American rejects shirt on, you love them!' I was getting fed up with these back and forth arguments. The chicks hot! Have sex with her then leave, one night stand? Why not? I decided to voice my opinion ' just ask he her out and be friends with benefits'

'Paul!' they all exclaimed at me. I mean, I've never been one for relationships, what can I say? I started to tremble at their annoyance. Just breathe Paul.

'Actually Seth, Paul has point, she is a definite 10/10' Embry grumbled

'I'm with Embry on this one' Jake stated. Actually surely that means he agrees with me, as it was my point!? I huffed and walked away trying to calm myself down, I walked round the shop seeing if there were any easy looking hot chicks about. But I felt this pull towards where Jake and the guys were. Maybe something was wrong, I listened out.

'Excuse me but I really need that water and as I you probably saw I was reaching for it' The most angelic voice I've ever heard spoke.

'uhhh, I- umm.' Seth stuttered. God he can be so inexperienced, she can't be this hot!

'Sorry, you can have the water. I 'm Seth; I just wanted to know if I could have your number?' Wow. Smooth Seth, smooth

'ummm, why are you shaking like that?' FUCK. Seth cannot phase. Not here. Sam is going to kill me! I ran to where his voice came, I stopped right behind a girl with the most beautiful copper hair that reached half way down her back.

I laughed as I knew why Seth was shaking. He wasn't going to phase! He was nervous, ha, ha.

'Stop it Jake! I'm fine. I was just nervous' knew it! My eyes drifted back to this girl who was slowly retreating, scared. I felt a sudden urge to comfort her and rip the guys heads of for making her uncomfortable.

She continued to retreat and I was getting more pissed as her fear increased. What the hell is happening to me? I saw her falling to the ground, plummeting towards the hard floor. My hands shot out and grabbed her tiny waist. It felt good to hold her, no I felt complete. She was so tiny barely reaching 5'2 and as she looked up her sad grey eyes met mine. She, was what I have been looking for. She made me feel free and complete. She is who I live for, her happiness is the soul thing I care for aside from her safety. How could she be so wreck less tripping over that basket! What if I wasn't there to catch her? I was winding myself up and when I took second to close my eyes and breathe she turned back around to Seth.

I fucking imprinted.

'Sorry Seth, you were saying?' my angel spoke. A sudden surge of jealousy shot through me, how come she knew his name? I realised, she's the 'hot chick' they were all ogling, and she's the angel Seth was hitting on. My imprint!

' As I was saying before my friends interrupted, could I possibly give you my number?' how fucking dare he. I growled, a warning to back the fuck off, he could hurt her, he was only newly phased. I was about to push myself in front of her to protect her but she spoke up again.

'Sorry Seth, I don't live round here I was just passing through'. I mix of emotion hit me like a wave. I was glad my girl said no to him, but she didn't live around here? What the fuck was I going to do? I have to leave the pack, my family but I wouldn't mind not as long as I know she's safe, happy.

She tensed and I immediately became alert, what was wrong? She began to walk forwards to Seth, into danger. No. Seth was not a danger Seth was my brother. But still a current danger until he can learn to control himself. I began to shake more violent preparing myself to phase and protect I don't care who was around to see. But she was too close! A growl escaped my lips again too soft for her to hear. Seth met my gaze as I looked back down to see if she was okay.

'You didn't Paul! Really!' at least he noticed, he let go of her immediately causing my body to relax and step forwards. Closer to her.

Seth spoke up 'Oh yeah, sorry. Why do you need this water so much?'

She hesitated. What was wrong?

'Got the worst headache ever, been driving for at least 5 hours.' She laughed awkwardly. I moved straight to her side. She was hurt and I didn't know! Why didn't she tell me, can I make her better? No I need to make her better. She was in pain. The words escaped my lips even before I was thinking them. 5 hours? Why!

'How bad does it hurt? Do you need some pain killers? Oh god-' My whole frame began to shake I was so angry again, she tensed, she was scared. Scared of me. I was fuming at her for not telling me she was in pain, and at me for scaring her, I tried to tell myself to calm down I needed to help her but if I phased I would be nothing but a danger.

. 'You shouldn't be driving for so long, who let you do that!' I shouted. I just couldn't help myself. Why was driving for so long!

I felt strong iron grips grab me by the arms and Seth, Jake and Embry were pulling me outside away. Away from her. It hurt just moving 10metres away. She was alone and unprotected.

'Jake get the fuck off me! I need to see if she's okay!' I shouted

'Paul calm down now, you're scaring her! You're being reckless you could hurt her! They pushed me into the tree line far enough in for me to phase. It felt good, but I was still panicked, where was she? I didn't even get her name.

 _'Paul calm down '_ Jakes voice echoed in my head, nothing was going through my brain. Just her, her safety.

I was seeing red. Jake, Seth and Embry were blocking me from running to her. Why!

 _Dude snap out of it now_.

I was growling, thinking of way I could knock them out of my way.

 _Jake you gotta howl for Sam man._ Embry stated panicked. I could see in his head what I looked like, crazed.

And just like that Sam was in my head

 _What going on?_

Embry flashed the whole scene before to Sam. This just made me livid. Seth had tried to have a one night stand with my imprint! I lunged for Seth, but he saw it coming. I was about to sink my Seth into his hind leg when Sam spoke up.

 ** _Paul stop. Now_**

I stepped back alpha command forcing me. Lips still curled baring teeth and growling, I wasn't listening to anyone and I managed to lunged again but the sudden darkness overcame me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Notes**

 **Hey guys, it feels like ages since I have posted, even though its been like 3 days. I'm enjoying writing this story and I'm thankful for those who review, really it means so much more than you know even if its a simple comment :)**

 **The Newest Daughter- You betcha she is!**

 **Reedy1012- Thank you!**

 **From Your Greatest British Friend, Anya**

PPOV

I felt the slight bounce and hands gripping my body tightly, the side of my head throbbed and I tried to recall some previous memories. I was being carried? Only fragments came back to me...

 _'Jake you gotta howl for Sam man'_

 _'Dude snap out of it now'_

Just sentences and flashes of red were flooding through my brain when suddenly, it all stopped. Only the most beautiful women was pictured in my head, I remembered her soft bronze curls that fell down her back; her angelic voice that chimed like angel and I remembered my hands on her tiny waist as those sad grey eyes looked up to me.

I heard murmurs of voices as the throbbing subsided-pros of super fast healing. I concentrated hard and tried to distinguish each voice.

'Sam why did you order me to do that, Paul is going to _kill_ me' Jacob moaned

'Jake, he was going to kill Seth. I saw it, we all saw it. His wolf took over, he was too angry' Sam's authoritative voice came from my right.

Seth spoke up. 'Sam, why did that happen? I've never seen him so livid, not even fighting vampires'

'It's his imprint bond. It's strong, very strong. You were a threat Seth' I heard him try to hold back a laugh.

'Me? A threat? How on earth could-'

'Actually, he has point. You only just phased and it took you two whole weeks to phase back. Not to mention that, you were hitting on his _imprint._.. one night stand remember?' Embry spoke his thoughts aloud. Seth took a sudden intake of air as he realised what he had done.

'Seth are you serious!? You would be so wreck less as to do such a thing? I know you're young and want to have fun but that was more dangerous than provoking a vampire and you saw the consequence, the outcome could have been grave!' The alpha was prominent in his voice.

'I didn't know Sam! He told me to go for it, he hadn't even imprinted then, I-'

'That's enough Seth, just concentrate on carrying Paul back to Emily's we need to figure out why Pauls bond is so strong.'

'Maybe because he's scared of being alone again, he doesn't want to lose her. I'd think you'd act the same if it was Emily being prevented from seeing you' Jake mumbled. I am not scared of being alone! I would have hit Jacob if I had the energy but it just seemed like only my brain was awake, my body too exhausted after seeing red. I was too busy trying concentrating on trying to move my fist to Jakes face to realized Sam had tensed.

'That's the thing Jacob. I really don't think I would have got that angry, you were protecting her from Paul phasing. Sure, I would have been angry and phased but he _saw red_. He couldn't control his wolf and none of you have experienced that, it takes a lot. It scares me that reacted like that and we need to figure out if it was a onetime thing.' Everyone remained quite on the way back, too shocked to talk after Sam had admitted he was scared. The only other time he had said that was when Emily was giving birth and she _was_ screaming the place down.

I heard Emily's motherly voice, panicked, asking what happened as I was placed not so gently on the couch. The events of today were retold by Embry and how the imprint connection was so strong. This is ridiculous, every single member of the pack with an imprint would have reacted the same. Jacob with Ness, Jared with Kim and definitely Sam with Emily. I thought he would understand that?

'I don't think it's a big deal' Jared voiced, Jared? When did he arrive? 'We all know Pauls temperament and he was probably worked up, all the emotions at once? Anyway how hard did you hit him over the head Jake he's been out for ages?' my finger twitched just as Jared mentioned this and I forced the words from my mouth.

' . .Jacob Black' laughter bounced about in the room and I opened my eyes to every pack member eyeing me carefully. 'What?' I barked.

'Just checking you're not going to lunge for Seth again' Jared explained. He must have phased with one of the other guys to understand what had happened completely, another con of being a shape-shifter, mind-reading.

There are a lot of benefits to being a wolf; it wasn't as hard for me to accept it like it was for Jake or Leah. Super strength, super speed, I grew into a fully fledged man within a week at the age of 17! Sure, this is relatively new but I wouldn't call myself a newbie like Seth, I changed 9 months ago, long enough. I was a hit with the ladies, they would constantly bat their eyelashes as soon as me and Jake even stepped foot into the same room as them, it was fun, messing around with girls taking my pick on who I would make out with next, but none of that mattered anymore I had my imprint.

Emily called us all for dinner, it smelled lavish and I was _starving_. Unfortunately all the imprints took their share first as we were certain it would be demolished once the pack dug in, I shook my leg up and down as Kim took her time placing food in her bowl, _I am soo hungry!_ Jared gave me a warning look as I shot daggers at Kim to hurry up.

After we had hovered up all the food, we were all laughing and talking but I couldn't help but let my wonder back to my imprint, my imprint whose name I didn't even know, my imprint that I could of hurt if it weren't for Seth and the guys. I sighed knowing I owe them an apology, especially Seth.

I coughed knowing it would capture everyone's attention. 'Listen guys I'm sorry for earlier, I was a dick and I could have really hurt you Seth.'

They chuckled and ran over tackling me to the floor with a group hug. I smacked them round the back of the head and laughed.

'Shouldn't say sorry to us bro' Embry smirked glancing towards Sam. I groaned as I knew what was coming.

' Double Patrol tonight and tomorrow as a consequence Paul, and yes, that means you have to skip school tomorrow' Sam said staring me down, boy was he pissed.

' Um! I certainly hope you haven't forgotten our conversation Samuel Uley!' Emily looked annoyed. Sam's eyes softened as he tuned to Emily sighing.

'Fine, you don't have to Patrol tonight as long as you go grocery shopping for Emily' I nodded, I really needed sleep. I gave a thankful nod to Emily and went to grab the shopping list off the counter. As I reached for the list my hand was shot with pain, I fell to my knees and examined it as Jake came over.

'Dude what's wrong?' he face looked shocked. The pain got worse and I began shaking, I just wanted to get this damn shopping done, go to sleep and find _her._ Emily was shoved behind Sam and a low growl came from him. That would _not_ help me get back in his good books. I stared at my hand. Nothing. It was throbbing really badly and I groaned one last time before standing up, and shaking my hand out. What the fuck just happened?

'I have no idea. My hand, it felt like it was being crushed in a car door or something.' Sam relaxed and gave a small smile.

'Go. Get the shopping and get some sleep Paul. Oh, and Jacob? Don't hit Paul so hard next time.' I could hear some chuckles so I just left before I got annoyed.

I started up my old truck and headed to the store, the quicker all this is done, this quicker I can find her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N**_

 _ **Hey guys! i am so sorry this took so long, i had exams ad then my sister spilt milk on the only laptop we have :/ there may be some spelling mistakes as some of the keys don't work, courtesy of the milk.**_

 _ **it would be really helpful if you could review so i know if anyone is still here, enioy!**_

 _ **From your Greatest British Friend, Anya**_

 _BOV_

 _I grabbed the money and directions as I stormed out the house tears streaming from my face. This is how it feels when no one loves you and you're just an empty shell looking after someone because you just can't seem to let them go._

The tears were spilling out my eyes and I tried to calm myself down whilst fumbling over the car keys. Frustrated, I let out a small scream as I kicked the wheel of the car. There's no point in damaging the car Bea, I thought. The car is your friend... Your only friend.

I wasn't always some loner who sits on her own and hides away in her room all day and all night, desperately trying to avoid any interaction and maybe a few small attempts to rekindle my relationship with my mother. I guess that was it, although a shitty excuse for a mother, she would attempt to have some 'bonding time' every 6 months. It was more her buying pizza and asking how my day had been, surely she should ask how the last six months had been instead?

'These damn car keys!' I exclaimed. I wiped the tears from my eyes and finally unlocked the car; I jumped in and slammed the door shut as hard as I could. In my attempts of letting out my frustration by slamming the door I found that instead I very nearly broke my fucking hand. I slammed the door in my hand was shot with pain, I keeled over and once the pain subsided I took a second to examine the damage.

My eyes widened as I already saw the purple bruise forming, I touched it and the pain only got worse. I figured I'd just put an icepack on it later, I took a couple of breathes in and out before making my way to the grocery store.

I had always been a good driver, from the day I turned sixteen I was driving myself anywhere I needed to go. I had perfected the art of dodging the police and getting out of tickets. However, driving with a suspected broken hand wasn't one of the skills I had picked up along the way.

I drove in silence only looking from the road to examine the forest, something about the forest always drew me in. The way anything could be hidden, anyone's secrets, anyone's stories, the way we know nothing about what's on the inside yet we all claim to love it. Ever since I was little, My dad and I would go hiking every weekend without fail, my teachers and friends would constantly warn me about the dangers; the bears, the slippery rocks, the creepy villains that hid behind the bush's. But the real danger the real thing people are scared of is the thing I loved most, it was the thing I went hiking to see, the wolves. I was infatuated since I was a child. I dreamt constantly that I would see a wolf in the wild but I never did and so each time my father and I went hiking a little bit of hope that I would see one, would slip away.

The throbbing in my hand captured my attention as I went back to focusing on the road.

My breath gradually became shallower as I could feel my heart racing in my chest my hands began to shake and I couldn't control my breathing. The world around me was slowly becoming a blur as I realised what was happening. Anxiety.

My eyes started to spill over with tears as I took a deep breath and pulled to the side of the road. I threw the car door open and rushed to take a breath of fresh air.

I fell against the side of the car breathing heavily, I let out a sob and tried to force the tears back but it wasn't working. I don't know how long I was sitting there trying to gain composure but I finally found my feet. I opened my eyes trying to picture someone, anyone sitting by me, telling me everything was okay, I put the key in the ignition and carried on my journey to the store.

I pulled up in the car park and took a look at myself in the mirror m grey eyes looked so tired and my hair was a mess. The normal coppery shine was gone and I threw it up in a messy bun whilst trying to hide the scar that peeked up at the top of my t-shirt. The fire didn't just leave mental scars but physical too, when my father saved me and threw me out the window my back caught the shards of glass from the window. It wasn't that serious, at least that's what I thought to myself. Just a few... 50 stitches to close the wound that now left and ugly scar from the middle of my back to my neck.

I sighed and exited the car to get food and whatever the hell my mother wanted. I picked up my pace to the entrance as the light rain turned into a downpour... Fucking fantastic!

I searched the store for 20 minutes picking up the groceries for the week, I figured mum would never get round to it and it would only be me that went hungry again.

I stood there staring at the numerous shapes of pasta to choose from when I heard someone chuckle beside me. I looked up to see, god? No shit what was his name, ah Paul!

I had never been shy of boys; my track record on dating wasn't too good. I found the easiest way to ignore the pain from losing my dad was to sleep around and it worked, for a while. Call me what you want, a slut, a whore but why is it any different when a woman does it? Everyone's okay with men sleeping around but nooo god forbid a woman. I never loved any of them; I could only just remember two I even liked but the feelings were mutual. I would ever lead anyone on.

I realised I was just staring at him so I tried to cover myself up 'hey stranger, I see you haven't been dragged out the store yet by Jake and...' oh shit, why am I so bad with names! ' and the, uhhh, others?'

He seemed to tense for a second and then chuckled again. I couldn't help but smile at his happiness and the warmth surrounding him.

' um no, I'm here by myself this time but the 'uhhh others' names are Embry and Seth' he winked. He fuking winked at me. I felt a blush rise but I turned around quickly pretending to look like I was searching for something on the shelf.

'looking for something in particular? I could help, nothing worse than trying to decide on which pasta shape to get'

And that did it, I grinned for the first time in months, genuine happiness came from the simple fact that he understood the struggle of buying pasta! How ludicrous?.

And so the next half an hour went like that, half of the time we played 20 questions. He learnt so much about me and it felt weird to open up to someone after so long. I stopped laughing as I remembered why I had not opened up to anyone, this was wrong, I shouldn't have said so much.

Because he doesn't really care, he'll leave just like dad did, just like mum did when he died.

Paul must have noticed and turned to me quickly

'Bea, are you alright? What's wrong?'

'Nothing Paul, I- I- I should get going thanks for umm keeping me company' and I began to walk to the till

' wait Bea please tell me what's wrong, I'm sorry if I said anything, I just wanted to get to know you' he reached for my hands to pull me closer but only managed to hold the -probably-broken one.

I gasped in pain and yanked my hand back squeezing my eyes shut.

'bea! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have been so stupid!' I lifted my hand up to examine the damage, didn't particularly look any worse but I noticed Paul shaking.

'Who. Did. This?' he said through clenched teeth.

'No one, it's okay.' My reassurance did nothing as the small shaking became more violent. And it hit me, what if he was having an anxiety attack like me? I placed a hand on his cheek something I probably shouldn't have done to a stranger but I just felt so close to him. ' Paul it's okay I just trapped it in the car door'

My touch seems to calm him as he took a deep breath in and checked my face for any sign of a lie.

'No one hurt you?' He said softly

'No. no one Paul I promise.' And I gave a weak smile.

His hands were placed on my waist, as he looked like he was trying to balance himself I decided to just leave them there and let him regain his composure.

'You good muscle man?' I smiled cheekily

' I'm good if you're good Bea'

I paid the cashier and began lifting the groceries.

'No.' Paul grumbled

What? No what?

'No. put the bags down and let me help you' I laughed, why was he being so nice? He must be really be desperate for sex, didn't anyone tell him chivalry was dead?

' Paul it's fine I can manage I-'

Paul was staring at me with sad eyes.

'bea please just let me help you'

And I did because it hurt to see him upset and it hurt to realise that I cared for a guy I met only days ago.

I began to say goodbye when a very loud wolf howl cut me off. My heart stopped. It was so close! I lived wolves but I'm sure as heck still scared of them in the wild.

I turned back to Paul and he looked Torn.

'Hey if you gotta go, go. I'll see you around.' I said

He smiled ' I do have to go I'm sorry but how about you give me your number and we can meet up again soon?' I squeeled internally and proceeded to enter the digits

As soon as I was done Paul ran off but Not before demanding I go and check out my hand, which I agreed to do but definitely wasn't going to.

I arrived back home soon after and started to unload the groceries from my trunk. I sat the first lot in the kitchen.

' mum I'm home!' I shouted up the stairs

'Can you help me out away the groceries!'

I didn't wait for a reply as I went to get the last two bags. As I turned to the door I saw a flash of silver in woods. I picked up my pace immediately not wanting to find out what it was but slipped on the wet concrete instead and went flying to the ground.

I low growl cane from the forest.

It sent me through a memory of the fire, when I thought I heard my dad growl...

 _'_ _' accept everyone Beatrice even those who you aren't normal' And that's when he, growled? I still hadn't figured that bit out yet maybe a fragment of my imagination'_

I ran to the door not wanted to get mauled by the growling bear and headed to kitchen. None of the groceries were put away. I sighed and began putting them away myself when I heard familiar music and sniffling from the living room.

I shuffled in that direction as I peeked through the door. There sat my mother wrapped in my dad's old blanket with red puffy eyes watching her wedding videos. This wasn't the first time this had happened and I knew what to do, comfort her and suck up any feelings I had of my own as I put her to bed again. And so I did that, with one arm round her shoulder I began to whisper as she cried into my chest

' It's alright mum. It's alright'

'No Bea it's not he left me'

Tears began to well up in my eyes, dangerously threatening to spill .

'Mum please stop. It's okay'

'He could have lived forever! He chose me, our protector' her mother whispered as she climbed into bed. Bea sat by her side as she drifted off mumbling things she couldn't understand. I stood up to go to bed when my mother said something again.

'Our protector' her mother repeated again clearly

'My protector'


	6. AN

Hey guys!

i am so sorry for the major delay! My sister had spilt milk all on our only laptop and after getting it half fixed (key word being half as most keys did not work) I attempted to continue to write and I posted the previous chapter. After some reviews and reading it over again, I can see the quality in my writing decreased dramatically and I wanted to truely give my all in any other chapters that I posted. I had a few exams which again, delayed my updates but within the next week, hopefully, some good, juicy chapters will be up for you. I hope you guys are still interested in the story please let me know if I should bother continuing :))

From your greatest British friend, Anya


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

 **Hey guys! I really hope this lives up to the standards that you expect of me and this story. I honestly forget how long it takes to write and edit these chapters. Remember, reviews are appreciated as it really gives me the motivation to write.**

 **From your greatest British friend, Anya.**

 _I began to say goodbye when a very loud wolf howl cut me off. My heart stopped. It was so close! I lived wolves but I'm sure as heck still scared of them in the wild._

 _I turned back to Paul and he looked Torn._

 _'Hey if you gotta go, go. I'll see you around.' I said_

 _He smiled ' I do have to go I'm sorry but how about you give me your number and we can meet up again soon?'_

PPOV **.**

This better be good, I thought to myself as I shifted. I had finally struck conversation with the most gorgeous woman in the grocery store whilst shopping for Emily and of course Jared had to howl. I got her number and ran towards the woods; I couldn't help but remember how she had so easily calmed me down once I saw her hand. I shivered at the memory. Her beautiful skin completely covered in black and blue… exactly where my hand hurt just before. I would have to tell Sam but not before I kill Jared if this isn't important.

'That's how I feel every time you howl when I'm with Kim, Paul' Jared thought.

I growled. 'What is it Jared?'

'Sam wanted me to see what was taking you so long, Emily needs the food now.'

'That was it!? I was on my fucking way, and now that you made me phase I don't even have the shit with me!'

'Hey dude, don't shoot the messenger just get back to Sam's and uh, do let him know about the whole hand thing, It's kind of weird.'

I sighed as I shifted back, dreading patrol, how was I supposed to know she was okay whilst I was Patrolling? Maybe Sam would let me swing round before shift started at 3am. The sun was setting as I finished loading the car with the groceries to head back to Sam's, I tapped the steering wheel to the beat of the music. All American Rejects 'Gives you hell' was playing, they were my favourite band but I was way too close to Sam's to start singing. They would all hear me. I unloaded the truck and gave the food to Em as I debriefed Sam about what happen with the whole 'hand situation'. I didn't stick around to hear the packs opinions; we were just the same as the other impronts, connected from the soul.

I shifted back to wolf and followed her scent from the grocery store. I was getting agitated and I needed to see her. She had driven home, so her scent was extremely faint and I found myself in the woods. Fuck. I need to see her! And now I'm lost in the middle of nowhere. I had never got lost in the woods, they were my home. In many ways, my temper had got a lot better since Bea. I couldn't afford to lose control around her but it had also got worse when I wasn't around her, she's all I want to see, hear, feel and touch and if anyone ever put their hands on her, they would exist no longer.

I snapped out of my thoughts by gasps and crying. But it wasn't the sounds that scared me, me Paul Lahote scared ha. You never see it. But it was _her_ scent, my angel. Something urgent in my brain took over as I shifted and sprinted towards her. And there she was, her copper hair sticking to her face as she looked up to the stars gasping and looking faint. I didn't bother with my shorts, she was too important and I ran over to her. As I was running I saw her begin to sway on her feet and knees buckle, I shot out my arms and scooped her up bridal style. I couldn't help but think about how perfectly her body fit next to mine but she was so fragile…small. She was still struggling for breathe and my heart was aching in her pain.

'Damn it Bea! Just breathe properly please!'

' Its. Okay. Paul.' She whispered. I heard her take a regular breath and I let out my own I hadn't even realise I had been keeping in. I tuned in my other senses to keep her safe.

And that's when the worst small of my life hit me. Not the god damn awful bleach smell of vampires but blood. Her blood.

'Shit, shit shit shit. Why can I smell blood! What the fuck happened Bea!' This was too much for my wolf. She was hurt, hurt because I wasn't there, the one thing I had to protect was hurt because I left her! I could feel my temperature increasing, my body was trembling and I was going to phase with her in my arms. No. I will never hurt her. I began to put her down just in case, when her angelic voice rung through my ears.

'You're going to leave me aren't you?' And with that I froze.

'Bea I have to, I'm going to hurt you.' My shakes remained but I no longer felt the need to phase just anger that she thought I would leave her.

'You're going to leave me like he did. Like mum did when he left. It's okay I'm used to being alone' her words were slurred but they stabbed me like knives through the heart. Who would ever leave her? And who was _he_? She has a mother and a father. She's not alone right? I tightened my arms around her tiny frame.

'I'll never leave you, ever. You're not alone I promise' and with those words she relaxed into me and I felt like she was my own personal brand of heroin. (true twilight fans will know ;)

I followed her scent to her house and entered through the back door. It was so… empty, and cold. I saw her, mother? To the right in the living room as I continued up to her room.

It was almost like a punch in the gut, her room was supposed to be bright and colourful, it was supposed to express who she is in so many different ways. But it was just a mattress on the floor, a locket and a pile of clothes. I pulled the covers down and placed her gently on the mattress. She took up merely 1/3 of the bed and I couldn't help but think how easily another person could fit. I shrugged off the thought, she needed rest. I planted a kiss upon her head without thinking twice and as I turned to leave I felt delicate fingers wrap not even half way around my wrist.

'Stay, please.' She murmured

I didn't need to be asked twice as I slipped in beside her warming her cold body and holding her hand on my chest. I was content, and decided that if this is forever, forever is all that I'll dream of.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

 **Hey guys, the last chapter and this one was combined into one but it got a bit long so I divided it into two. Are you enjoying both point of views or do you prefer one? Because I find it easier to writ for Bea. I didn't get any reviews on the last chapter which is fine but you guys really help me decide which path to take in the story based on your opinions, thanks!** **J**

 **Your Greatest British Friend Anya**

BPOV

I was absolutely baffled by my mother's mumblings about protectors but I knew they meant something, something important. My mind swirled around for the answers, for me to be able to make sense and comfort her, I hoped if I understood, we could have a better relationship maybe she would love me bit more because I knew what was wrong and how to help. But all these thoughts and feelings was like a cauldron in my head bubbling over, it was too much. It was always too much! I was sick of it, not being able to handle it, not being able to ask someone that I love for help. I didn't even realise that I had begun hyperventilating.

I burst through the back doors and ran into the woods. My body was telling me to stop, to turn back out of the woods, out of danger from bears, but my mind, my soul, it needed to feel a sense of freedom. I ran and ran and ran until the souls of my feet were bloody and bruised from the thorns and twigs. I was gasping for air as I looked up to the sky.

I felt myself calm as I examined the stars, I imagined my dad right next to me pointing out the names and shapes. But the stars became blurs and the sounds became muffled. I heard shouting, I heard running footsteps and I looked ahead of me, Paul? I felt my body swaying and my knees buckling from the lack of oxygen as I plummeted to the ground. But the ground never came. The hard fall I had experienced so many times was replaced by a secure grasp just like the first time I met Paul in the grocery store. I let my mind relax but the shouting brought me back to reality.

'Damn it Bea! Just breathe properly please!' Paul bellowed

' Its. Okay. Paul.' I smiled weakly and took a deep regular breathe. It felt like heaven, it felt like my body was on a drug, being this close to him. Or maybe it was the oxygen entering my body regularly again.

'Shit, shit shit shit. Why can I smell blood! What the fuck happened Bea!' His exclamation reminded me of the stinging the cuts on my feet had left me and the calm wave I had just felt was replaced by violent shaking. I felt myself being lowered to the ground; was he going to leave me?

'You're going to leave me aren't you?' Paul stopped lowering me but shakes remained

'Bea I have to, I'm going to hurt you.' I laughed internally, this strange man. This strange, inhumanely huge man, was seeming to be my one light in this cave of eternal darkness. And I didn't even know him.

'You're going to leave me like the rest of them. It's okay I'm used to being alone' the words that came from my mouth were slurred and I still couldn't decide whether this was all a dream.

Arms tightened around me. 'I'll never leave you, ever. You're not alone I promise' and I with those words I knew it was dream, so closed my eyes and relaxed into his body.

I only half understood what was going on. I heard my back door open as we stepped inside the eerie house and the sound of it closing firmly and locking. I don't remember Paul walking up the stairs but I felt him place me gently in the bed. A firm kiss was planted upon my head but as he turned away I grabbed his hand. 'Stay, please.'

My reasonable conscious self was screaming the opposite. Get him to leave! You don't even know him. But I felt at peace, calm. I felt like I was actually in this world and not just detached and viewing from the outside. I felt warm and the feeling I had when I was a child, when I was hiking with my dad, returned. I always told my father when this feeling appeared that a wolf was about. I would insist we stopped and searched for them but they were never to be found and now it feels like I have my own wolf, as he slipped in beside me, holding my hand to his chest.

'Stupid lone wolf' I muttered.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm here with another chapter, I'm pretty inconsistent with my uploads but I hope it's worth it anyway.**

 **Would prefer more frequent short chapters, or less frequent longer chapters?**

 **Your Greatest British Friend, Anya.**

 _'Stay, please.' She murmured_

 _I didn't need to be asked twice as I slipped in beside her warming her cold body and holding her hand on my chest. I was content, and decided that if this is forever, forever is all that I'll dream of._

PPOV

And my dreams weren't filled with vampires. They weren't filled with violence and a lost man people call Paul Lahote. My dreams were filled with feelings, not stories and people but feelings. Completeness and love, and I knew why.

Pack duties had always been my escape from reality, the reality I called an annoyance (and life); for I was no fully fledged man, I was just 17, but I was no boy with a home and loving parents.

I first phased 9 months ago in a heated argument with my father, my temper had always been a problem; since a child I was told by my mother to 'watch that temper young man!' so when I came home one day to my father red faced and arm raised to my mother I wasn't surprised when a switched flicked inside me.

I could no longer take this perfect exterior our family portrayed while my mother was beat. Beat for loving me, for clothing me and this time the punishment was for…?

Waiting, and not eating her dinner before I got home. His fist was raised and veins were popping when it happened. I felt my skin ripping and muscles growing, my senses were heightened and I felt so powerful. I jumped between my parent teeth bared at my father until he stepped back, I knew about the legends, I was a pure blood Quileute so my parents apparently knew that these legends were true. My mother told me to go Sam, Sam Uley and all will be explained, so I left, I left without saying goodbye, I left without a second look to my father thinking I would be home in a couple of hours , and I was. But they weren't there.

He was ill, my father, he wasn't always abusive but he became paranoid and unreasonable and when I came home to pick up clothes I found a note:

 _Dearest Paul,_

 _I love you, remember that, and remember that's why I left. I'm going to get your father some help so he can never hurt us again, I'll pay the house bills but get a job for yourself to buy food. We won't be back soon._

 _Love mum._

So I guess Jacob was right. I was afraid of being left alone again but now I was scared I wouldn't have Bea in my eye line, safe. I was scared she was going to be taken by some illness I couldn't cure or the worst?

She would leave me by choice.

I was woken by howl…Patrol. Double Patrol. I groaned, not wanting to leave her alone in this empty shell of a room but Sam would only prevent me from seeing her for longer if I didn't go. I slipped out from underneath the covers and wrapped her tiny body tight to keep warm. I took one last look at her before I jumped from the window, phased, and ran as fast as I could before I turned back.

She was like a magnet, and pissed me off. I was doing fine by myself! I had finally got back on track; I relied on no one but my pack from time to time. I wanted to hate her. But I just couldn't bring mys-

'-You just can't bring yourself to hate her huh?' Sam interrupted my thoughts. I tried to block all thoughts instantly.

'Paul I've been here since you phased, I know what's happened with Bea and how you feel just talk to me bro, there's no point in trying to block your thoughts, I know'

But I wouldn't, I wouldn't burden him with my problems when he has the pack to worry about, when he has Emily to care for.

'Hey, Sam? How do you do it?'

'huh?'

'how do you leave her? Emily. How do you watch her everyday walk out the house to work or leave her alone when you patrol, how do you cope?'

'It's hard and you'll never be okay with it. Ever. But Paul look, I'm not undermining your love for Bea but you're feelings really shouldn't be this strong for each other yet. Especially hers towards you. I mean, you're a stranger in a new town, she shouldn't be okay with your holding her through the forest and inviting you to stay.'

I felt my anger bubbling beneath my skin but I had questions, and I had to learn control.

'what do you mean a new town? And how do you know about earlier?!'

' People talk, she moved here today with her mum and that's pretty much all anyone knows.'

Ah of course, she said as the gas station that she didn't live around here, and we were a good 20 minutes away from Forks and at least 30 minutes from LaPush. It felt good people didn't know that much about my imprint, I felt like she was safer that way. But I hadn't told Sam about earlier, about the forest.

'oh and Paul? Your thoughts about earlier and really anything involving Bea are extremely loud. Now pace yourself Patrolling you've got many hours ahead.'

I felt Sam phase out and Jared phase in.

'Sup Paul.'

'Hey bro, how's Kim? '

'Beautiful as ever, 100% true but cringe as fuck no?'

'Ha I know the feeling' I chuckled and began Patrolling the East side of Lapush near Bea's house.

Sam's Point Of View.

I howled for Paul, he was 15 minutes late to Patrol and probably sleeping outside his imprints window like the others did when they first imprinted. But something was off, their connection was so strong. And then it was like 30 people entered my head at once as I heard Paul's thoughts.

'She is like a magnet, and pisses me off. I was doing fine by myself! I had finally got back on track; I relied on no one but my pack from time to time. I want to hate her. But I just can't bring mys-

'-You just can't bring yourself to hate her huh?' I interrupted him in an attempt to quieten this racket echoing through my mind, I tried not to wince as he thought of trying to block his thoughts from me.

'Paul I've been here since you phased, I know what's happened with Bea and how you feel just talk to me bro, there's no point in trying to block your thoughts, I know.'

Another wave of emotions hit me like a tsunami, but I couldn't let Paul know he would only try and hide what was happening more. His thoughts were simply, her, Bea. Her safety, her face, her happiness and his tempter.

'Hey, Sam? How do you do it?' he said suddenly.

'huh?'

'how do you leave her? Emily. How do you watch her everyday walk out the house to work or leave her alone when you patrol, how do you cope?' and truth is I hate it, but I love knowing that Emily is happy and know it doesn't bother me too much. But if he acts the way he is feeling around Bea, she may run for the hills.

'It's hard and you'll never be okay with it. Ever. But Paul look, I'm not undermining your love for Bea but you're feelings really shouldn't be this strong for each other yet. Especially hers towards you. I mean, you're a stranger in a new town, she shouldn't be okay with your holding her through the forest and inviting you to stay.'

'what do you mean a new town? And how do you know about earlier?!' Paul bellowed, I took a deep breath his anger wasn't knew and I knew how to prevent it, act like he never responded like he angry.

' People talk, she moved here today with her mum and that's pretty much all anyone knows.'

'oh and Paul? Your thoughts about earlier and really anything involving Bea are extremely loud. Now pace yourself Patrolling you've got many hours ahead.' His thoughts had calmed significantly but I felt drained.

I phased back to human and almost fell to my knees. Being in Pauls mind right now almost made me feel like I had imprinted on Bea. And I needed to find out what was happening.


	10. Chapter 10

**Up with another chapter for you guys. I'm not really sure if anyone is still reading anymore so I might consider some stories that are up for adoption but here's chapter 10**

 **Your Greatest British Friend, Anya.**

BPOV

I was staring at the ceiling thinking about him… Paul. The stranger I would do my best to stay clear of, he made me feel complete and that was utterly terrifying. I wouldn't let him mess me about and leave me. I huffed and forced myself out of bed towards the pile of clothes I called my wardrobe. I picked up a blue/grey jumper which exposed my shoulders and collar bones and black skinny jeans. Simple, really simple. But my goal was NOT to be noticed as the new girl whilst still looking presentable if someone did happen to see me. I hopped in the shower still very much asleep, I grabbed the only shampoo I ever used (limes and lemons) and applied it quickly.

Make up. Sort of hate it, sort of love it, definitely need it. I let my hair air dry and fall in soft waves down my back as I applied concealer to the grey bags under my eyes. I had pretty much flawless skin apart from that, not that it mattered no one has even tried to hold a conversation with me after the fire. Except Paul…

But he was no one. A friend I would speak to but not get to know, I might find other people I could do that with. Like I said, my track record with guys? Not all too good but it was like an anaesthetic, it distracted me from the pain my life had become. I decided I wouldn't string anymore guys along for my sake, enough was enough and this was a new start. My grey eyes still dull, I attempted to look alive with some mascara but gave up and headed back to my room. I stopped in the hallway when I heard loud clattering and grunts from downstairs, I spun on my heel slowly and went to investigate the damage my mother would most likely create from remembering the night before. She hated relapsing and when she would remember what happened the next morning she would make mess of the place.

I trod down the stairs in no hurry to see a broken chair and my mum passed out from exhaustion but once I heard a shatter I picked up my pace. I stood in the doorway, eyes wide to the chaos one person caused. The glasses of at least 10 cups were shattered on the floor and 2 wine bottles were empty and dry. As expected, mum was on the couch staring at the ceiling. I had no time to clean this up and get the bus on time so I guess this was a chore for later. I took a swish of orange juice and relished in its cool consistency. I slipped on my converse and made a run of the bus but as I stepped outside in the cold, damp misery people call LaPush, I saw it drive away.

Walking was relaxing to me so I was okay with walking the couple of miles school was. However, I was not okay on being late to my first day and walking in downpour. It took me at least 45 min to walk there and by the time I reached the gates I heard the squelch of my shoes with each step I took. The school had mailed me my schedule so I hurried straight to first class, Spanish.

I knocked lightly on the classroom door and entered, I was shocked to say the least. We had the 'nerds' sitting at the front right arguing over an answer to some sort of work; the jocks in the front left checking out the cheerleader type girls who were spread out across the middle; kids I like to call 'normal' (but really what is normal) sitting in the back right and...gas station boys? I sighed and continued searching for the teacher.

I saw a bald head pop up from under the teacher desk gesturing me towards him. He looked high, really fucking high as he handed me a couple of sheets of paper and a book.

'Each lesson bring this textbook. Come to me at the beginning of the lesson and collect some sheets of work if you want. But do not bother me after that.' He paused and looked up to see if I was listening so I nodded.

'There's only one free space at the back next to Black and Thail, make yourself at home. Everyone else does' he said whilst retreating back under his desk. I turned around searching for the seat he was talking about. Right next to the Gas station boys, great.

I walked down to the back of the class as all the jocks stared and surprisingly, the cheerleaders smiled. I know, I know, I was being stereotypical, maybe I had this all wrong and the nerds weren't nerds at all and the cheer girls were friendly but probability? Vey slim.

I slid into my chair, trying not to draw any more unnecessary attention to myself. I literally jumped out of my skin when I heard a young sounding boy call my name.

'Bea? Bea! Hey, it me Seth! And Jake and Jared, remember us?' I smiled shyly.

'ummm, yeah right. Gas Station boys?' And apparently that sent them off into hysterics

'that's how you remember us yeah? 'Gas Station boys?'' Jared said between fits of giggles.

I couldn't help but crack a smile and that how the rest of lesson went. Cracking jokes and talking about school and schedules. Turns out I have all my lessons with Jake and just this one Spanish class with Jared and Seth. I couldn't help but compare though. Compare how protected I felt with the three of them. But Paul alone could make me feel this x3.

'So you guys drop behind like 5 years or what?' I said to them

'Nope.' Seth said proud. 'Native blood got us buff Bea, intimidated?' he said leaning close.

I was about to reply with a snarky answer but Jake was between us in an instant whispering to Seth but not quite enough.

'dude, do you want Paul to maul you to death!? Don't even touch her unless needed have you seen how he feels about her?'

'No, I haven't actually but I do remember him attempting to kill me last time? Surely he owes me?' Seth snickered

'Paul owes you nothing when it comes to her and if you said that about Kim, I wouldn't hesitate to maul you either' Jared piped up.

All three turned around thinking I didn't hear a thing and so I pretended not to, something was up.

'Why don't you sit with us at lunch Bea?' Jake suggested. 'I'm with you the lesson before so I can show you the lunch hall?'

'Umm sounds good' I replied with a smile to all three.

…

We were walking to lunch hall with Jake chatting away about some girl. Renesmee? She sounded perfect and sweet and apparently I'd meet her soon, whatever that meant. We started to line up for food and I stared in awe as Jake filled his plate high as possible.

'Hey a guy as big as me has gotta eat!' I shrugged and grabbed a sandwich.

I followed Jake to the table of… buffness? They all looked very similar, all at least 6'1 and very very muscular. But their faces were all completely different, I sat next to Jake and opposite Jared and Kim. Kim was amazing, we talking none stop and I felt so happy and free when Jared had to interrupt.

'Hey Bea. Are you going to eat anything?' I looked down at my half eaten sandwich.

'im full, I had a big breakfast' I gave them my best grin. Jared shrugged and took the other half to eat. I looked back up to Kim but she was staring at me weird. Maybe she knows? Maybe she finds it difficult too, eating? But it wasn't that serious so I began talking about my Spanish teacher and how odd he was.

The bell rung shortly after and we all said our goodbyes as Jake directed me to the girls locker room.

'No.' I stopped in my tracks.

'What?' Jake questioned me quick.

'No,no,no'

'for god's sake what Bea?' he asked with hand on my shoulders

'I dint have any gym clothes with me!' Jakes laughter boomed down the hall.

'that's it!? Ha here take these.' He handed me a pair of short and a tank top.

'Those are my old shorts, pre-growth spurt and that's Nessie's top, they're both going to be a bit big but it will be good for today' I smiled at him.

'Do I want to know why you have Nessie's top Jacob Black?' his eyes widened in embarrassment as he turned and walked into the boys locker room shaking his head. I chuckled and went to get changed.

…

I stood facing the mirror in a pair of shorts so big they wouldn't stay on and a tank top that was showing nearly half of my scar.

I sank to the floor with my head between my knees trying to think of excuses to not participate in gym when I felt a cold hand tap my shoulder.

'In need of Gym clothes? I;m your girl, here.' A tiny girl with spikey hair handed me some shorts and a long sleeved top. She was beautiful, free of imperfections and barely reaching 5'0, smaller than me! And that's saying something.

'I'm Alice, thank me later.'

Shocked by her confidence I said nothing as she walked away. I slipped on the t-shirt, which fitted well and complimented my boobs and waist. I would really have to thank her later. But the shorts? They were booty shorts. The tiniest and shortest shorts I had ever worn. But I actually didn't look too bad, in fact for the first time in ages, I thought I looked _good_.

When I came out the changing room coach was explaining our program for this year's gym class, baseball and cheerleading. And I swear my heart stopped. I before the fire I was one of those 'popular cheerleader girls', the best flyer in the school. But I hadn't done it since, coach carried on with his instructions.

'Boys and girls, you will be mixed into 3 groups. Boys, some of you will make the base, for cheer. And others will be playing baseball. Same for the girls, some will be flyers, others, baseball.

He selected his groups person by person.

'you? Baseball. You? Cheer.' And like that he went until he got to me. ' You- oh, you are new. You're so small!' he laughed. I felt humiliated and I thought I saw Jake take a step closer. 'You'll be a flyer, go and join Black and his team'. I started to protest and say I had no idea how to cheer but he wasn't stupid and he had already moved on. I walked towards Jacob and he gave me a soft smile but stopped as soon as he looked at my clothes.

'What are you wearing!?' I gave him a questioned look.

'Those most certainly are not my shorts Bea! Paul is going to kill me! Look at those jocks drooling over you.' I turned around to look at the Jocks, slightly pissed at Jacobs outburst. But he was right, one of them winked at me as I turned back around.

'Firstly Jacob, Your shorts would be sitting at my ankles they were so big so I guess they wouldn't be any better. Secondly I really can't seem to figure at what _Paul_ has to do with what I wear!?' and with that I headed towards our group and began learning the twists in the routine we had to learn.

Jacob's point of view 

'Firstly Jacob, Your shorts would be sitting at my ankles they were so big so I guess they wouldn't be any better. Secondly I really can't seem to figure at what _Paul_ has to do with what I wear!?' I watched her walk away towards the group

Shit, I had let the stuff about Paul slip but I was right! I had given her my shorts for a reason and know those assholes were drooling over her and Paul would not only rip their heads off when he found out, but mine too.

Admittedly, she was smoking hot. A bit small but really hot. But there was something different about her than the other imprints, I almost felt like I had to protect her like she was my own and that was not okay. Renesmee was my life and soul and in no way did I feel the same but the feeling to protect was stronger than the ones I have for Kim or Emily, even Claire.

The rest of the class went smoothly; I insisted I be the one to catch her as the other guys threw her high into the air. And she was amazing, she had definitely been a flyer at her old school but the flyers flew so close to one another I had to make sure I was there to catch them. I did not want to face the consequences of Paul.

Once gym was finished I planned on giving Bea a ride home but she was nowhere to be seen, she had probably left I guess I can just keep a look out for her walking as a drive home.

BPOV

Once I stripped of Alice's clothes and changed back I went to tell her that id wash and return them tomorrow but she was adamant that I came over to meet her family and do some shopping before.

'Hey Alice I would love to but I really don't have spare money to be buying clothes' I sighed, I then remembered the mess I had to clean up at home.

'… and the house is a tip. Honestly I would come, but, next time?' I waited for a reply but her eyes just glazed over

'I can't see you anymore, why? Why Bea?'

'what? Alice I'm right here are you okay?' I said panicky

' Yeah absolutely' she replied as she snapped out of her day dream. 'Need a ride home?'


	11. Chapter 12

Hey guys. I'm working really hard to find someone who will help continue this story and still let me help a little, really trying not to let ya down!:)

Also thank you for all the support it means so much.

i had someone called firewatchersdaughter? say they would help but i cant find any way to contact you as you commented as a guest but i am very interested in talking.

Love your greatest British friend, Anya


	12. Chapter 13

**Would you guys mind if i updated whenever? No set amount just upload when i write, would you guys still be interested?**

 **Your Greatest British Friend, Anya**

BPOV

I came to realise very quickly that there was no silence around Alice, ever. And she was the one person in this town who didn't make me feel small, I mean even though Paul was probably double my size in every way, he didn't make me feel small either. As we walked to her car, well, she skipped, I walked. I was still worried about her earlier outburst of not being able to 'see me'.

'So!' her perfect voice made me jump out of my thoughts.

'How long have you been here?'

'Not long, a couple days, maybe a week I don't know' I stared out of the window into the woods, I felt a pull to venture in there, I imagined it being so beautiful. Alice started up again with her random fire questions but I interrupted her.

'- hey I know I said I was busy but maybe you wanna hike for a bit. Only for an hour or two it just looks so beautiful' I turned my head from the window to face her.

'ummm I would love to its just-'

'Come onnnn Alice, I just feel a pull and I bet you a dollar the view won't let you down'

'A pull?' she said staring at me. I nodded slowly.

'You've been to the Res. Haven't you?' she said sighing.

'Um no actually, should I? I mean I met a few guys that were from there when I was driving here' she totally ignored my question but I decided to let it slide, all this talk of Paul- I mean people like Paul was making my head swirl and my anxiety bubble.

'Sorry, Beatrice I don't do mud and dirt' she winked at me. I gave a small smile but the car felt smaller than ever. I felt like I couldn't breathe. The oxygen was being sucked out of the car away from me and my reach. My heart was beating so hard against my chest it hurt.

'Hey, hey hey hey. Beatrice what's up?' her eyes widened.

'Nothing it's okay I just need to get home.'

'I can hear your heart beating, it's too fast you need to calm down.'

'Hear my heart? What? Please Alice, I just need to get home.'

'Hey it's okay I'll get you home' she place her hand on my arm and her cool touch calmed me down slightly but I just needed Paul. I laughed at myself. Paul!? Of all people Bea you want a stranger, snap the fuck out of it.

We pulled up onto my driveway and I scrambled to get out the car and breathe fresh air. I went to turn back around and thank Alice but she was already in front of me. Confused on how she got to me that fast, but grateful I decided to just apologise and thank her.

'Alice I'm-'

' .Apologise. Beatrice. I know, I used to have anxiety and it's okay it will get better. It will.'

I smiled and began walking up my front steps.

'Oh, and Alice?'

'Yes?'

'You can call me Bea if you want.'

She seemed to think about it in her head for a few seconds and then replied.

'No it's okay. I think I prefer Beatrice.' And then she took of down the road, driving way faster than we were. Like she was indestructible.

I fumbled around for my keys for a couple for a couple of minutes when I finally found the right one. I kicked off my shoes and jacket and stared at the mess left in the kitchen. Shards of glass scattered across the floor and a trickle of blood from where mum had probably cut herself whilst getting ready for work.

Normally, I would have tidied it up but a wave of exhaustion hit me as the anxiety faded away. Mum can clear this up for once and I gathered my things to put in my room. I got changed out of my jeans into my pyjamas. The top was slightly too small, leaving some of my torso exposed. My tracksuit bottoms fit well and were by far the comfiest thing I owned. I washed my face of makeup and brushed my hair through and tied it in a loose bun.

As I grabbed my book and went to make my cup of coffee I stared at myself in the full length mirror. My flat stomach looked too pale against the black bottoms and my coppery hair framed my face nicely as pieces of the bun had fallen out. But my(used to be) green eyes were still a weird shade of grey and the bags underneath were very much exposed without the makeup covering it up.

I carried on downstairs into the living room and wrapped myself in a blanket as mum hadn't paid for the heating bill, nor will she anytime soon. My stomach grumbled as a reminder of skipping breakfast and lunch but the cupboards was empty as the groceries I had brought was already eaten by mum. I took a sip of the hot coffee which instantly took away my craving for food and I began to relax for what felt like the first time in ages.

A few hours went by and no sign of mum. It was around 10:30pm and I was getting chilly, freezing actually. I had discovered that Forks was under a constant cover of cloud and rain which was actually fine by me if I was prepared with a jacket and gloves. I decided to call it a night and began folding up my blanket when I heard my name being called and someone climbing through the window.

'Bea!'

'Oh god no no. Bea?!'

I froze and grabbed the candlestick as a weapon.

PPOV

Patrol was silent. Clear of any bloodsuckers like the past few months and my mind was consumed with her. I expected the guys to moan about it but they merely thought of their own imprint and occasionally asked me turn down the volume of my thoughts, as if I could help it.

But other than that the day was going well… Until Jacob came.

I felt him phase in for his shift after school and he took over from Jared. I however still had 2 more hours. Jake was being unusually silent and something was up. But I didn't care, all I really wanted to know how Bea was and if he took care of her while I wasn't there.

'Yo Jake did you see Bea?' and his thoughts came flooding through like a burst dam. Just pictures of her and her flipping in the air during gym. In the air.

Danger.

'Paul it's okay I was spotting her. I made sure she was safe.' She wasn't safe unless she was with me. I thought

'Couldn't have she done another sport. Baseball?' I sighed.

'Come on Paul look at her she's a perfect flier for cheer. She's tiny. Extremely light and she's got the body.' And an image of her in the tiniest shorts flashed through.

'What the fuck are those Jacob!' I was livid. How could he not offer her another pair of shorts!

'Paul. Listen to me, I did give her my shorts and one of Nessie's tops I had on me. She said that they were too big.'

'You gave her, a five foot tall woman a pair of your stinky ass 6'8 shorts? Of course they're not going to fit you idiot.' I felt my anger bubbling and the wolf coming out, I didn't want another repeat of seeing red.

'Look I tried to offer her a ride home but she had gone already I'll cover your next 2hours just go and see her, you've had along shift' Jacob offered.

Long? I scoffed long was a 9 hour shift. I just did a 16 hour shift!

I nodded in Jakes direction and headed towards Bea's.

The stench of Vamp hit me right outside her front porch steps. I froze in terror and quickly phased.

I ran around to the back and jumped through the open window in the kitchen.

'Bea!'

I searched around frantically my eyes begging to see the angel I call my own. But they found shattered glass and blood all over her kitchen. My heart ached.

'Oh god, no no no Bea?!' this can't be happening. We have a treaty,they can't hurt her. I ran bare foot through the glass as it cut at my feet. That would heal quickly, but Bea wouldn't. I burst through her living room door to see her. Standing there with a candlestick as a weapon. Her hair all messy and top that exposed her beautiful skin.

She turned around at the sound of my breath and relaxed, dropping the candle immediately. I rushed to her side and held her like I did at the grocery store. Hands resting on her waist, I needed to touch her, to be with her. I expected her push me away but her she out her cold hands on my chest and our foreheads lent against each other.

'You're okay' I breathed. She looked up at me confused.

'Of Course I'm okay. But why did you just break into my house shouting my name?' her voice was muse to my ears and I realised I couldn't smell any vampire in the house, just outside.

'Who dropped you home?' I questioned.

'You answer my question first.' Her hands fell from my chest to my wrists and I shivered at her touch.

'You're so cold' and I pulled her in closer to me.

'Mum doesn't pay for the heating so it gets a bit chilly'. And that made my mind up. I couldn't leave her anymore. I would protect her until I died, she was so fragile and I couldn't change that.

'Got any movies we could watch? I run at like 110degrees so you should be fine' she smiled and her eyes looked tired. So I wrapped us both us in a blanket and put on one of the few kids movies she had. Spirit. It was a cartoon about a horse and the Natives but I was so distracted with her body pressed up against mine. She was lying on top of me, her back against my front while I lent on the arm of the sofa and it was the most content I had ever been. Her hair was tickling my nose but the scent drew me in like a bee to a flower. I listened to her heart slow as she fell asleep next to me and I was about close my eyes too but she began to murmur.

'You chose my favourite movie' she said

I smiled, I was happy she liked it.

'I love it Paul. The Native Americans story. How they remain so strong even after people like my ancestors took their land and degraded their culture. How they fight not with violence but with pride and strength. I would fight with them. Forever.'

I was gob smacked. How can someone I already find so beautiful surprise me with her inner beauty even more? She understood, at least she tried to. And that's all I could ask.

'I love it too Bea. But I love you more'

She murmured something else even my wolf senses couldn't decode and so I laid back with my arms wrapped securely around the one thing I live for.


	13. Chapter 14

_**Hey new updates coming soon! promise i wont leave it as long this time :) Review so i know if anyone is actually still here.**_

 _ **love Your Greatest British Friend, Anya.**_

 _'I love it Paul. The Native Americans story. How they remain so strong even after people like my ancestors took their land and degraded their culture. How they fight not with violence but with pride and strength. I would fight with them. Forever.'_

 _I was gob smacked. How can someone I already find so beautiful surprise me with her inner beauty even more? She understood, at least she tried to. And that's all I could ask._

 _'I love it too Bea. But I love you more'_

* * *

She murmured something else even my wolf senses couldn't decode and so I laid back with my arms wrapped securely around the one thing I live for.

I felt like I was on a boat, gentle waves rocking me up and down, but I hated boats. The motion made me vomit every time I got on one and this feeling was amazing. I decided to open my eyes and see but my eyes felt like glue; I struggled to open them as the sun from the windows beat down upon my face.

After a few failed attempts of trying to wake up properly, I remembered I had school, somehow my natural reaction was to bolt up and panic as I realised I clearly wasn't woken up by my normal 6:30am alarm. My heart was accelerating and I couldn't seem sit up as something was pinning me to the sofa and I felt tears prickling in my eyes but the soft deep voice that spoke in my ears prevented the tears.

'Hey, hey, Bea, what's wrong? Calm down it's just me, you need to slow your breathing I can hear you heart beating, It's too fast, what is it?!' what is it with people and _hearing_ my heart? Paul's breath tickled my neck as I began to remember where I was and what happened the night before. And how we fell asleep… I blushed at the thought of my against his chest and how his breathes rocked me to sleep like the boat motion I was dreaming of.

My heart seemed to slow a bit at his voice but I felt trapped as he held me tighter, looking for the danger. 'Paul let me go.'

He continued to look for the threat and I realised he wasn't going to let me go without some persuasion.

'I can't fucking breathe Paul! Let me go.' His grip released me instantly and I bolted up towards the back door for some air. I couldn't seem to calm myself though and my vision began to get blurry as I held onto the door for support. I heard heavy footsteps coming towards me as I turned around to face them.

Paul stood before me with his arms stretched out. I looked at his dishevelled hair and pain filled eyes and his topless perfect body as I gave up and walked into his arms. I normally dealt with these attacks on my own and I knew I could do it. So why was I trusting him so much? But I was just so tired and he engulfed me with a warm embrace and just kept repeating his apology. 'I'm so so sorry. I didn't know I had you too tight. Bea, I'm so sorry please forgive me'. And it struck me in between his begs for forgiveness. He thought I couldn't breathe because of him! When it was all me again, it was my fault for panicking in the beginning and overreacting as normal. I took a shaky step back but he looked at me wearily.

'Do not apologise Paul. I-I- I just freaked out and I didn't know where I was. And then I realised we were probably late for- Shit. Shit.' I looked at the clock 7.30, school started at 8 and we were bound to be late. Especially with no car. I put my hands in my head and sighed heavily. I knew Paul was close I could feel his heat next to me, hovering, as if he was debating whether or not to do something. But before I could ask what I was swept up into his arms and placed on the sofa with me in his lap. He looked at me with adoring eyes that I could simply look at for forever but I willed myself not to. I willed myself to stay away, to disconnect, to just do what you came here to do. Go to school, graduate and move away from mum. If that's the one thing I'm certain of, it's that I'm out of La Push as soon as I'm done with senior year.

'hey are you listening?' Paul interrupted my thoughts as he moved my hair from eyes behind my ear. I shivered at his touch as I felt the electricity run though me.

I felt some short of shaking coming from Paul but before I could question what was wrong he removes me from his lap and stands up. 'You're cold again aren't you? What sort of mother doesn't have heating in the middle of winter in Washington!? You're going to get sick Bea!' I huffed, as if I didn't already think this! And who was he to be questioning my living standards, I wasn't even cold! I stood up and answered his question 'A rubbish mother Paul.' And I trudged up the stairs to get ready quickly for school.

I pulled on my regular black jeans and a green sweater that complimented my hair well, I took a quick look in the mirror and released my hair from the bun and watched it fall in messy curls down my back. If I do say so myself, I looked pretty cute today considering the lack of time. I threw my stuff into my bag and ran downstairs to see if mums car was there to drive Paul to his house.

As I rushed down, I decided that I would try and avoid him from now on. Only a crazy person would let a stranger enter their house watch a movie and fall asleep _on top_ of him. All whilst feeling like it was the best thing in the world! I was caught up in my thoughts and didn't see a pair of my mums shoes placed on the stairs as I tumbled to the ground. I squeeled and shot out my arms to protect my face and laughed at my own clumsiness.

Thankfully it felt like just a bruised arm as I wasn't too far from the bottom, I propped myself up as I saw Paul run in the back door in a completely new outfit and school bag. He chucked his bag on the ground-

'What happened! I heard you fall' he shouted as he rushed to my side. I giggled at his reaction, I was completely fine apart from the throbbing of my already slightly-still injured hand.

'Nothing happened I'm fine Paul' he grabbed my shoulders and took a step back to check for any damage. He did a once over, I smiled weakly

'See I'm fine' and I waved my hands in the air to exaggerate my point.

'hey how did you change and get your bags?' I questioned. His eyes grew wise for a split second but answered quickly.

'I keep spare clothes and my books in my car.' I looked at him questionably. He continued. ' I drove here last night.'

'oh right, of course. So do you want to go? We are going to be at least 15min late.' He grinned the most handsome grin I ever did see, grabbed my hand and walked to his car. He walked around to my side and opened the door to which, I was super awkward about and mumbled a quick thank you before he shut the door and got in his side.

I sat there staring at the trees and the multiple shades of green they emit. The way the wind blew the leaves back and forth so peacefully, the smell of pine and earth reminded me of comfort and warm when we used to have family Christmas oh and also… Paul. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the seat.

'Are you okay Bea?' Paul questioned yet again. I kept my eyes closed and remained in the same position. I daren't look into his beautiful eyes and the worry that filled them every time he thought something was wrong. I had to keep my distance and this was the first step.

'you hurt yourself when you fell didn't you. Fuck-I'm sorry I didn't catch you I-'

'-Fine Paul. I'm fine. Can we just get to class?' I didn't know why he was blaming himself again. I felt bad being snappy but I knew I would melt as soon as took a look at him. So I didn't.

We drove in silence and as we pulled up I leaped out the car tumbling as I found the ground. God, I have to get this clumsiness sorted.

'Shit- Thanks Paul! Gotta run, I'll uh- see you around?' I didn't wait for a reply as I ran into the building. I hadn't a clue where I was going and I checked my timetable….

English. I was actually pretty good at English and could maintain a stable B with no effort at all. As I slipped into the class without detection I scanned the room for a free seat. Nicee right at the back where I could nap undetected.

As I settled down into my seat I heard a soft 'hello' to my right. Kim. I hadn't a problem with the girl or her boyfriend Jared to be honest. Just her other… acquaintances.

'Hey Kim, you good?'

'Just uh- preparing to take a nap' she giggled. She was gorgeous; everything a natural beauty consisted of. Long thick shinning black hair, tanned skin and the most stunning long eyelashes ever. I just stared at her .

'English is basic, Jared used to sit in your place but he started to fail and got moved to the other class' she sighed. I of felt like a bad replacement and nodded at her in understanding

'But now I have you!' and she genuinely looked like she meant it. I smiled, a genuine smile.

I kind of figured out quickly that lesson that we would be friends, good friends and as we stumbled out of class in fits of laughter after being kicked out for talking too much she just stared at me for a while.

'uhhhh, earth to kim? Kimmm? Kimberly!' She looked at me in shock.

'Oh sorry I was just thinking –uh-maybe-um-onlyifyouwanted-of course, If you wanted to come to mine after school. Just to uhh, hang?' I wasn't used to being invited over people's houses, or having friends but I guess just Kim wouldn't hurt. And I could see she wasn't used to it either, so I agreed happily and met her in the parking lot after school.


	14. Chapter 15

_**Hey guys, how are you all? It's a bit hard writing with no feedback so even if you aren't a regular reader any helpful criticism will do.**_

 _ **Love Your Greatest British Friend, Anya**_

The day went by slowly, I was excited to meet with Kim she was the first person I'd ever really tried to be friends with apart from Paul and I can't really say I _tried_ to be friends with him. Kim never asked too many questions, she just went with the flow and I liked that. A lot.

The lesson before lunch was Art; it's undeniable, Art was a passion of mine. Once you get into it, the flow of the brush on the sheets of crisp white paper soothed me. The possibility to turn nothing into something or change it into something different fascinated my brain and so when I walked into Art to find a teacher from my old school sitting there comfortably in his chair I was ecstatic.

Mr Davis!? He left a few months before my dad died and said he was going traveling before settling somewhere up north. I guess La Push is where he meant. He was middle aged, apparently recently divorced, according to the tan line on his left hand where his fourth finger met his knuckle and to what it seemed, slightly pissed off. I walked up to his desk-

'Mr Davis? I was relieved to see a familiar face. Face from the past who didn't know what had happened, I't felt like I had a little more room the breathe.

'Beatrice?' he said in surprise as he looked up.

'That's mee, how was your travels?' We had always got on and he loved my art pieces, always grading me highest of the class and giving me tips helped a lot. But his once happy demeanour seemed to have disappeared as he put on a fake smile.

'It was interesting. Who knew suggesting to move up North would result in divorce papers from your wife hey?' he laughed at my lack of response. 'There is a free seat at the front, our stimulus for this semester is the word ' Passion' so feel free to begin when ready.' I smiled in response and took a seat and began.

To say I was in the zone was an understatement, I didn't even hear the lunch bell ring . Mr Davis stood in front of me awkwardly. 'Bea, you might want to get some lunch, you only have 10 minutes left of break.' I nodded but the way my mind felt so free of any problems was addicting. He coughed again.

'Oh, yeah sure. Thanks sir, see you next class.' I packed my things away and headed out as I checked my watch. 5 minutes before the bell rung. There was no point in going to the cafeteria for 5 minutes, so I decided to head to gym, last class of the day and get changed. Into proper clothing this time.

I felt relatively good today after my rough start with, Paul. Speaking of, I successfully avoided him all of today and I wanted to feel happy about that. Instead I just felt nauseous and longed for his warm touch. I shook my head and started to get changed. The bell rung shortly after and all the girls headed out of the changing room into the gym hall.

'Same groups as last week. You know your routines and I want them to be sharp! Got it?' Coach shouted. The class nodded in unison and I went to my group. I felt like something was pulling me back towards the other group. Like it was pulling at my heart, I turned around to see the beauty I call Paul staring at me. His smile reached his eyes as I looked at him and he started to jog over. I turned back around quickly heading away from him and towards Jake.

'Ah Lahote' I heard Coach say. ' Baseball, you are a brilliant player.'

'Coach, I think I would make a better catcher for cheer. You have a good team going on over there anyway.' Paul grumbled.

'Don't test me Lahote, you already skipped my class last lesson now go.' Coach responded.

Paul grunted and stormed towards Jacob. He whispered something in his ear and Jake gave a sure nod as Paul walked towards baseball unwillingly. I sighed a breath of relief and prepared to fly.

I didn't bother to get changed as I walked quickly away from gym and towards Kim's car where she was waiting. She looked at me with curious eyes

'What have you been up to Bea' she said with a devilish grin. 'You look awfully flustered.'

'Kimmmm!' I moaned 'I just ran from gym that's all, away from the _giants_ ' I mumbled the last bit but she looked at me shocked.

'What do you mean? Who are the _giants_?' she pressed.

'Not Jared don't worry.' I reassured

'Then who Bea?' she turned to me as she put her seatbelt on.

'Jacob and Paul.' She raised her eyebrows at me.

'Beatrice girl, do you have some explaining to do.' She said as we pulled out of the parking lot.

We pulled up to Kim's house with a very agitated Jared standing outside.

'I'll uh, wait for you inside' I suggested

'Thank you, I won't be long I promise.' She said as she looked at Jared.

I gave a quick nod as I walked up the porch and into her house. It was just how I imagined it to be, modern and crisp with not a speck of dust in sight. I stood by the door not really knowing where to go; I'm not one to eavesdrop but Jared was speaking pretty loud.

'-Look Kim, she wasn't at lunch and he panicked. Then she avoided him during gym and he hasn't seen her since this morning!'

'Jared Thail!' Kim exclaimed. 'If you shout at me again that window is going to be shut for a week.' I was awfully confused but carried on listening.

'No, Kim baby I'm sorry it's just he's angry and we were all worried when couldn't see her at lunch. Listen just stay put until I tell you it's safe tonight. We smelt a fresh trail, it's just some nomads but nomads still have to hunt okay? Promise me you'll stay safe Kim.' I heard him Kim sigh

'Nomads!' she hissed 'Please be careful Jared.' He chuckled

'We've got this Kimmy. But Pauls freaking out, you have to keep her with you until we say,okay?'

I didn't hear a reply but she must have nodded. I took a step back from the door and sat on the stairs to make it look like I hadn't heard. She steps through not a few moments later with her hair slightly dishevelled. I chuckled and raised my eyebrows. 'How did you depart from your dear Jared go, _Kimmy_ ' I questioned. I was expecting her to get flustered but she answered simply.

'I gave him a parting kiss goodbye.' She thought for a second then added. ' A parting kiss or two.' We burst into laughter and headed towards her kitchen.

'Okay now you _have to_ explain why you were running from Jake and Paul.'

And so I explained how he made me feel and what happened last night. How I couldn't get close because it would only hurt more when I left. How he made me feel so protected and secure and I knew that wasn't going to last. The way he looks at me like he'd take a bullet to save me and how it makes me feel weird. She laughed at that.

'Weird? That's the best word you could come up with?' I just stared at her looking for answers.

'Hey Bea, it's okay to feel like that. I know it's _weird_ but I can tell you I felt the exact same about Jared and its okay.' She put an arm around me. I felt like a dodgy water pipe because my eyes were definitely threatening to leak.

'I can't Kim! They all leave me. Everyone! And he won't want me when he realises I'm not this perfect picture painting. And I can't do it again' I sniffed, desperately trying hold back the tears. 'I can't keep losing people I love.' I stopped myself as I said that. I just said I loved him, OUTLOUD! What is wrong with me? I started to panic; I needed to leave before I say too much, before I tell her about my dad. She wouldn't see me the same after that and my only friend would never take me back.

'I'm sorry, Kim, I-uh- have to go. Please don't tell him that. I just have to uh-go.' I stumbled out the words as I grabbed my bag and ran out the house with Kim calling my name.

'Bea you can't leave right now! It's dark and dangerous. There are too many bears out, please stay I promise I won't tell him anything!'

'Sorry Kim, I'll be okay'

I heard her swearing as she ran back inside.

 **KPOV**

'Paul I going to fucking maul me when he finds out, shitt' I swore as I rushed back inside to find my cell and warn Jared. I couldn't stop her as she ran out my house but I was worried that Jared was phased and without his cell already. I silently begged him to pick up as I shakily dialled his number.

Beep. Beep. Beep –

'Kim? What's wrong, are you okay?' he asked immediately.

'No- well, yes-no. Jared Bea ran out my house, she was upset and she started to run home and I tried to stop her but-' I heard a growl and some ripping as I paused.

'Jared?'

'Kim, are you okay?' he asked again

'Jared! I'm fine but you have to find her.' I said pleadingly.

'Yeah that rip was Paul… He heard what you said. Listen I have to go and phase back and catch the nomads stay inside.' The end tone rung before I could reply and so I tried to ring Bea again.

 **BPOV**

I ran and ran, I didn't stop to look behind me or adjust my bag falling off my shoulders I just ran. I heard my phone buzzing but It was dark, I could barely see anything but the road and the woods to my left.

I slowed down as I noticed a figure I could have sworn wasn't there a second ago but looked closer and I saw a man lying down in the middle of the road. Saviour mode switched on and my level 5 first aid training came into use. I ran up to him and shook him for a response.

'Hello? Can you hear me?' I shouted. He looked awfully pale but I could see no blood.

'oh god- don't be dead, don't be dead.' I begged. 'not today. Please today is not my day'

His eyes fluttered open and he sat up quickly. I gasped at his actions but remained calm.

'Well, I was going to have dinner but you seem rather nice.' I seemed to be talking more to him self than me but I replied anyway.

'Are you okay?' he pulled me into a iron grip hug and a felt like I should panic, natural instinct was telling me run.

'Come with me, my sister wants a friend. Shell be happy I found one after distracting the dogs, it will be a nice treat' I was scared and had no idea what he was talking about.

'I'm sorry, I can't right now. Listen if you're okay I best be off.' He grabbed my wrist painfully hard I could almost feel the bruises forming.

'Don't go. I know you're going to be special. Powerful even. Let me take you, let me turn you.' He asked staring into my eyes. I was so confused but ready to run. I struggled out of his grip but he only gripped harder. I gasped in pain and he said calmly

'Don't struggle. I like you, so I'll make it painless. Actually- what's the fun in that.' He swung his arm back and struck me across the ribs. The edges of my vision were fuzzy when I thought I heard a growl.

Shouting.

My name being called.

Warmth.

And Darkness.


	15. Chapter 16

**_Hello lovelies. I know I'm such a pain as I haven't uploaded in months but exams got on top of me. However I promise that this story is not over! Is anyone actually still here? I hope so because it took me a while to get this chapter just right. Any suggestion for the directions this story could go?_**

 ** _Your Greatest British Friend, Anya._**

 _'Don't go. I know you're going to be special. Powerful even. Let me take you, let me turn you.' He asked staring into my eyes. I was so confused but ready to run. I struggled out of his grip but he only gripped harder. I gasped in pain and he said calmly_

 _'Don't struggle. I like you, so I'll make it painless. Actually- what's the fun in that.' He swung his arm back and struck me across the ribs. The edges of my vision were fuzzy when I thought I heard a growl._

 _Shouting._

 _My name being called._

 _Warmth._

 _And Darkness._

I struggled against the darkness for what seemed like eternity. It felt like I was drowning just below the surface of the water, fate tempting me to reach up and breathe but I just couldn't get there. I thought of nothing. Nothing worth living for anyway. I thought of a mess of a situation I call my life and panicked voices, their humming in the back of mind that reminded me of what I was missing. I could hear the boys, Seth and Jacob, reminding me painfully of what family really is and how they were closer than friends. They were a pack, a pack of brothers, tied by love.

Love…

Paul.

His presence louder than the rest. His panicked voice louder than rest. I tried to listen to the words but It was all fuzzy, I knew it was him though. By the way my body reacted, two opposite reactions; the instinctive feeling to move closer but my mind screaming to run away from this stranger I had become stupidly attached to. I tried to shut all the voices, for they only reminded me of what I do not have and will never have, love, happiness and complete and utter bliss.

It seemed the water I was drowning in became choppier and the current pulled me further down. My lungs ached for air and it felt as though venom ran through my veins, burning every part in which blood ran through me. I thrashed to reach the surface as the waves calmed and the current released me from its grasp and as I got closer to the surface I began to make out new voices and some words.

'Carlisle help her!' a thick southern accent penetrated through my brain.

I felt like I no had a care for the world but these voices wanted me to fight. I had to figure out if I wanted to. But the motion of the sea in the storm began to lull me into some sort of trance and the burning in my veins began to subside a bit.

'She isn't fighting.' A melodic voice rang through the now silence.

'Shut up! Stupid bloodsucker she has to!' Jake shouted. I wondered why he cared so much for this person.

I felt like I could finally be a peace. Not worrying about what I could do to help my mother stop drinking or getting her to love me more. I could finally see my dad again.

The storm vanished and I reached the surface of the sea. I could see no waves, no ripples. I felt no wind or rain just the calming sun. I floated on my back and closed my eyes.

My mind flickered to my childhood garden. The one me and my dad used to work on every weekend to try and attract all the wildlife. We would laugh until our eyes streamed and arms ached from holding our stomachs. We would sit on the rocking chair with cookies and milk watching all the birds eat the seeds until I fell asleep waiting to spot a wolf. My eyelids felt like lead as I let them close resting my head on his shoulder.

'No no no. come onn Beatrice. I can't see you.' Alice mumbled.

I found myself at the entrance gate to the garden and I was about to enter when another gate appeared to my left. Something in me wanted to peak through the other door but I knew my father was waiting for me. I began to walk towards the garden gate when all the voices became louder again. All the voices in one room. And I could distinguish every single one, even ones I hadn't met I could put names to. What was this place? What was happening?

'Oh god, Sam what happened' –Emily

'Emily babe, maybe wait for me outside I don't want you to see this.' –sam

'See what Sam she isn't going to die! She isn't' – Seth

'Kim, join Emily and take Claire with you please.' Jared

'NO! You don't need to send them away Jared she's right here and nothing is going to happen!' – Jake

In all honesty I was so fucking confused. It was like being at war with a bunch of shouting voices instead of bombs. All I wished for was peace. But the shouting continued, about something; someone? Someone they cared about? Oh how I wish I was loved like that.

The shouting started to overlap one another until I could only make out two or three sentences.

'Kim leave now!'

'No Jared she isn't dying on us.'

'This can't be happening. This can't happen.'

I realised then the shouting was louder at the mysterious second gate. But peace and quiet was where my dad was. I began to unlock the gate and step through when the most beautiful voice halted me in my actions.

No noise but this voice.

No shouting but this voice.

No pain but the bliss of _his_ voice.

'My beautiful, do not leave me yet, you are my only star and it's so dark Beatrice please. Give me all your pain and our love will set you free. I will set you free. We can be free together Bea but you can't be free on your own. You can't die, you can't leave me- ' his voice cracked at the end. His voice of pure emotion.

Tranquillity surrounded me as roses and lily's grew around the mysterious door. Bird's chirped and sung their tunes like a choir of angels. This whole in my chest began to ache for a sort of paradise for this thing behind the door.

'Paul keep talking its helping her I can hear her mind.' - Edward

'I know the imprint got me to see you but I- I'm not exactly sure when it happened. Or even when it started. All I know for sure is that right here and now, I'm falling hard and I can only pray that you feel the same way, even a fraction of it. Because I know it will save us.'

I don't know who this was. If this was even real but I had to get through this door and to this man. Surprisingly, there was no second thoughts to this decision. I just stepped through. I guess I was expecting to meet someone. To meet a god of some sort. But I met the most immense amount of pain I have ever greeted.

Death was a swelling storm, and I was caught up in the middle of it all. It took control of the person that I thought I was the girl I used to know. But there was a light in the dark, and I felt its warmth, in my hand and in my heart.

Why can't I hold on?


End file.
